In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all
students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH
INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone
else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the
course, please see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed
at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially
skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who don’t take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to
go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our
lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don’t have to
do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job
teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE
LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management
andconsulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL
OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course
emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Sincerely,
The Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Super High Intensity
Teaching. (The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)

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